The Centrality of the Heart

I'm in the middle of reading a really great book by Paul Tripp called How People Change. Here's a great quote on the centrality of the heart.

The average Christian defines sin by talking about behavior. For example, what is the goal of most Christian parents? Is it not to get their children to do the right things? We set up all kinds of relational, motivational, and corrective structures to constrain and direct our children’s behavior. These structures are not without value, but if this is your only response to your child’s rebellion and sin, you will leave him defenseless against sin once he leaves home and the structures are no longer there.

Beneath the battle for behavior is another, more fundamental battle— the battle for the thoughts and motives of the heart.

The heart is the real or essential you. All of the ways in which the Bible refers to the inner person (mind, emotions, spirit, soul, will, etc.) are summed up with this one term: heart. The heart is the steering wheel of every human being. Everything we do is shaped and controlled by what our hearts desire.

That is why the Bible is very clear that God wants our hearts. Only when God has your heart does he have you. As much as we are affected by our broken world and the sins of others against us, our greatest problem is the sin that resides in our hearts. That is why the message of the gospel is that God transforms our lives by transforming our hearts.

Lasting change always comes through the heart. This is one of Scripture’s most thoroughly developed themes, but many of us have missed its profound implications. We need a deeper understanding of Proverbs 4:23, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."

Communication 101...for Toddlers

Last Friday night I was putting Micah to bed, and had gone through the normal bedtime routine (pajamas on, teeth brushed, water, sing, snug as a bug). He apparently didn't think I had nailed it as I normally do, and he began saying, "cold water." My response, "there's ice in that cup little man. It's cold." The two year old didn't like that, and began yelling "cold water" over and over again. I went to the kitchen and poured it out, then filled the cup with more ice (therefore it would be even colder). It didn't work. So finally, and I hope you don't think I'm a bad parent for this, I told him goodnight and shut the door. The yelling ended after a few minutes and he went to sleep.

Two days later Mandy told me that she knew what cold water was. After first congratulating her on this academic feat, I realized what she was talking about. She opened the refrigerator door and explained that to Micah, milk is cold water. Well that explains it. So I've spent some time this week getting Micah to say the word milk. He's doing much better now.

CYPN Article in Commercial Appeal

Heather Caron wrote a great article about the Light the Way race and the Parent's Network. There's even something about Neighborhood Church in there. Here's the article:

The cooler weather has begun to lure neighbors out of their homes and children back into the daylight. Runners and walkers alike are dotting neighborhoods in preparation of the upcoming Cooper-Young Festival 4 Miler race on Friday. In addition, many community members are preparing for the "Light the Way" parties to cheer on the runners as they blaze past the neighborhood homes and businesses in Midtown's Cooper-Young.

Longtime area residents know that those with the best parties win prizes and enjoy the accolades throughout the year. The 4 Miler "Light the Way" parties have not only been fun, but for some residents, they are the initial connection to lasting friendships, educational forums, seasonal parties, running groups and endless play dates.

One such group can credit many memberships to the Cooper-Young 4 Miler race and the infamous "Light the Way" parties. The Cooper-Young Parents Network, representing 80 adult members and 150 children, has given Midtown families a support group for their most important commodity -- their children. This forum has provided parents information on available educational and extracurricular options for their kids. It has given Cooper-Young families a safe and welcoming place to celebrate holidays and community events. It is a clearinghouse for gently used items that families no longer need and a resource for cooperative and reputable child care. You may just be able to find the right doctor or cleaning service, if you so desire.

Newly relocated family Joe and Susan Currier were walking home from a 2006 "Light the Way" party and bumped into another new Cooper-Young family, Jason and Barb Elder.

"As we talked, I discovered I knew Jason from years past," said Susan Currier. "Jason and I grew up in the same town, but I did not know he had moved to Memphis.

"As we strolled past the cleanup crews, the Elders told us about a church they were helping to plant in Cooper-Young, which eventually became Neighborhood Church. They invited us to visit the church when it started meeting in homes a few months later, and that's how we met future Parents Network founder and new Cooper-Young resident, Mandy Grisham. Barb and Mandy became some of my closest friends, as have our children," Currier said.

Susan has since introduced several other families to the network and has hosted a few LTW parties. "It's my family's favorite part of the festival weekend," Currier said.

"The CY 4 Miler's 'Light the Way' party is the network's birthday. We are celebrating our second birthday this year," said Grisham. "Our network's first kickoff party won one of the prizes from the race committee."

Grisham fashioned the Parents' Network after the Berkley Parent's network. "Memphis did not have anything like this. I wanted to create a local network for the parents in the CY community," Grisham said.

Members Josh and Ginger Spickler and Debbie Sowell have also contributed to the success of this group's membership, hosting parties and spreading the word to other community members.

Heather Caron is a volunteer for the Cooper-Young Friday 4 Miler.

Fight Club Session 3

I love starting my Tuesday morning with Fight Club. This morning proved to be an injection of energy that I desperately needed. JB gave 25 practical ways to be a servant leader. Before I get to a few of those, though, I will recap the theme of the series: A man is not passive. A man takes initiative in all things, especially his family.

I could offer thoughts to all 25 ideas he gave, but I'm going to pick three for now.

A servant-leader takes the time to give his children practical instructions about life, which in turn gives them confidence with their peers.

One of the wounds that many men have is that they were not equipped for life by their fathers. I wouldn't necessarily say that I have wounds when it comes to this, but there have definitely been some areas where I've been ill-equipped in dealing with the world. There were some pretty significant life skills that I had to learn on my own. So my desire is to begin brainstorming now what life skills I want to teach my boys. Then comes reverse engineering: How do I teach them these skills? When do I teach them these skills? Finally there comes the reality that I will fail them in some ways, but I rest in the grace of God to fill in the gaps.

A servant-leader joins a small group of men who are dedicated to improving their skills as a man, husband and father.

This statement will quite possibly be my biggest take-away from these five weeks of Fight Club. This is what I've been wanting for the guys that I know, and for myself. I have friends who don't necessarily believe the same things as I believe about God, but all of them want to be better husbands, better dads. What would it look like to have some friends who agree to pursue this together, with great intentionality and encouragement.

A servant-leader takes the lead in establishing with his wife sound, biblically-supportable family values.

Here's a huge "AHA" moment: I've taken a lot of time thinking about and writing out values for Neighborhood Church. I've done the same things with businesses I've started. Yet Mandy and I have never written out our values for marriage or for raising children. Of course we've had conversations about this, and of course we have unspoken values, but there's been nothing strategic about it. I'm thinking a lot about this word "strategy." Most men I know do a lot of strategizing during the 8-5 hours. Why don't we do this with our family, during the most crucial hours of our day? Why don't I put the same strategy into being a husband and father as I do in being a pastor/entrepreneur?

How Tim Keller Found Manhattan

Here's a great article on Tim Keller from Christianity Today. I've read a lot about Tim Keller and a lot from Tim Keller, but there were many new pieces to his story that I learned from reading this article. As a parent living in the city, it was good to read that he and his wife, Kathy, wrestled with moving their family of three boys from the suburbs to the city.

And terrifying to his wife, Kathy, who focused on their three boys, ages 5, 9, and 11, a.k.a. "the hellions." She couldn't imagine her unruly children surviving New York. "My mother said, 'All your kids will be in gangs by the end of the first week.'"

Kathy had a meeting with God in which she concluded that she would go and live in a cardboard box, if God told her to. The Kellers were finally ready to leave the suburbs and head for what they had thought of as hell.

But it wasn't hell. They had caught a vision for Manhattan as a place terribly underserved by the church, and a place with gigantic multipliers of influence throughout society. It was both needy and strategic.

Just as important, the Kellers discovered that they liked Manhattan. The kids thrived on the freedom of going anywhere by themselves via the subway. They were desperately proud of their dad and would tell checkout clerks about his new church. No longer was their rowdiness a problem. Kathy says they could never be the worst kids in their classes, "because the worst kids had jail time." They found a new group of heroes in the young adults who began attending Redeemer.

The other refreshing thing that came from reading this article was learning that the things that Keller knows now, he didn't know 20 years ago when he moved to Manhattan. There's no other pastor/teach/author I know that, after reading his work, I realize just how little I know. It's good to see that even Tim Keller is a work in progress!

One last quote from the article:

"The difference between a solid church and a terrible church is pretty much up to you," he tells one group. "The difference between a solid church and incredible success has almost nothing to do with you at all. It's like you are out there paddling on your surfboard, and suddenly the wave comes and you ride in, standing up like you're a Greek god. That has everything to do with the wave."

Links

It's been awhile since I posted links, so you can imagine that I've got some really good ones here. Hopefully that will prove to be the case.

Tim Chester on the differences between house churches and missional communities

Tim Kimmel, author of Grace-Based Parenting, is coming to Memphis in October. Hoping to take a great group from our church

A month or so ago I started doing a bible study on our identity in Christ. Today I see that Greg Boyd has beaten me to it. This is worth spending some time on. I want to teach on this at some point soon.

A key passage for our Acts series this summer was 1 Peter 3:15, which says that we as Christians should always be ready to give a reason for why we have hope. I remember first hearing Brian McLaren say that this implies that people are asking questions. So what questions are our friends asking?

I just ordered the TK Primer (Workbook). It's a follow-up to one of my all-time favorite books, The Tangible Kingdom, by Hugh Halter and Matt Smay. I'm looking forward to going through this workbook.

The Role of Parenting in Spiritual Formation

This morning I began reading the book of Judges. Immediately a verse grabbed my attention: After that whole generation had been gathered to their fathers, another generation grew up, who knew neither the Lord nor what he had done for Israel (Judges 2:10, NIV).

What a tragedy! The obvious question here is, "Why did this generation not know the Lord or what He had done for Israel?" The best answer is that they were not told this by their parents. I've heard Mark Driscoll talk about this when he says that one generation believes the gospel, the next generation assumes the gospel, and the next generation denies (or forgets) the gospel.

I live in a post-Christian culture, and I consider this a good thing. In a Christian culture, much of the gospel is assumed. In a post-Christian culture the gospel is usually either believed or denied. Assumption is less likely, which, again, is a good thing.

Though every person has a choice of how they are going to respond to the gospel, much of the responsbility is placed on parents. Let me go back to my answer above. I said that parents must tell their children about the Lord. That word "tells" is not adequate, though. To "believe" means that you speak of it often (see Deuteronomy 6:4-9 for God's Words on this). It also means that you live in a certain way. A person who believes the gospel lives differently than a person who assumes the gospel. Either way, this living is contagious.

One of my greatest hopes for Neighborhood Church is that we would raise up children who know and love our God. I pray that God would impress His heart upon our children, and I pray that we as parents would not hinder what He wants to accomplish in their lives.

The Goal of Parenting

The following is from Tim Kimmel's great book, Grace Based Parenting.

The real test of a parenting model is how well equipped the children are to move into adulthood as vital members of the human race. Notice I didn't say "as vital members of the Christian community." We need to have kids that can be sent off to the most hostile universities, toil in the greediest work environments, and raise their families in the most hedonistic communities and yet not be the lease bit intimidated by their surroundings. Furthermore, they need to be engaged in the lives of people in their culture, gracefully representing Christ's love inside these desperate surroundings (9).

There are times when we need to shelter and protect our children, but if that is our primary to the world, then we are doing a disservice to our children. Instead, we need to teach and live out a biblical worldview. We teach them what it means to follow God and be a missionary in their world.

Books I'm Reading

I just updated my Shelfari page, so I thought I would give an update on some of the good books I've been reading. On Easter we finished up our series on the Cross, so for the last couple of months I've been reading a lot on that subject. Two of the key books I read were Death by Love, by Mark Driscoll, and The Atonement, by Leon Morris. I grew and learned a lot during this series.

Next Sunday I am preaching on parenting, so I've been reading a few books on this topic, namely, Grace Based Parenting, by Tim Kimmel, Revolutionary Parenting, by George Barna, and Authentic Parenting in a Postmodern Culture, by Mary DeMuth. I haven't read much of Barna's yet, but I highly recommend the other two.

I've also just started reading Total Church, by Tim Chester and Steve Timmis. This is one of those books where it seems like I'm underlining every other sentence. The chapter on community is amazing, as is the one on evangelism. Speaking of that chapter, you can read it on Tim Chester's blog.

Finally, our men's discussion group has one more week on Piper's Don't Waste Your Life. It's been encouraging yet very challenging. I guess that's typical Piper, though.

Weekly Links

• Innovation3 was one of those conferences that I would have loved to have gone to. The next best thing is having free resources from it.
  
  
• Great nugget of parenting truth from Mark Batterson
  
  
• Ben Witherington reminds us of God's promises during our woeful economic times
  
  
• Tim Keller's Q & A Sessions free for download at Redeemer's store
  
  
• Ed Stetzer's 5-Part Interview on Communication with Andy Stanley

God Loves Memphis

I believe that God loves my city, and I believe that the gospel is the only true and lasting hope for the problems of my city. Saying that, I also believe that if I am going to be a Christian in my city, then I must understand my city. The needs of the city must become my needs. It's because of this that I, along with many of my friends, seek to be involved in the city in many ways.

Today is a day devoted to not simply learning about the needs and problems of my city, but also discussing viable solutions. This morning I attended a city-wide town hall meeting on the topic of safety. I serve on the safety committee in my neighborhood, and as a result of this meeting, I have helpful information to pass along to my community.

This afternoon we're having our first CYPN Education Discussion. CYPN stands for Cooper-Young Parent's Network. It's an organization that Mandy created six months ago. Everyone attending has young children, and all of us are having to make decisions about the type of education that we want for our children. It seems that for many of us, there are multiple bottom lines. For example, although academics is very important, it's not the only issue that we're considering. Other factors include diversity, location, cost, etc.

Mandy and I feel that God has called us to this neighborhood, and we desire to live as holistic a lifestyle as possible. Our hope is to send our kids to the local public school and to be involved in making that school an even better school. I may be overly optimistic, perhaps even naive at times, but I believe that if enough people do this, that we could see major change come to our city.

Weekly Links

Jonathan Merritt writes about the shift in political thinking for young evangelicals

Excellent talk from Chris Seay at Q 2007 on consumerism. Check out some of the other talks while you're there.

One of my favorite all-time quotes, and one I need to be reminded of from time to time

Joe Boyd on what it means to be a pilgrim

Seth Godin's Tribes Q&A ebook is available for free download. I haven't read the book yet, but this makes me want to.

The Resurgence has the audio and video from their Shepherding a Child's Heart Conference available for download.

Final resource, I promise…Alan Hirsch and Michael Frost's new book, ReJesus, is out. You can download the intro and chapter 1 here.

CYPN Pics

I just realized that Mandy took a few pictures at the Cooper-Young Parent's Network kickoff party.

Cooper-Young Parent's Network

For those of you who don't know, Mandy is taking a one year's leave of absence from teaching so that she can be home with Adam and Micah. Not teaching has also given her more time to create. One of her latest creations has been the Cooper-Young Parent's Network. She and some friends began talking about this a little over a month ago. I helped her set up a Yahoo Groups and off we went.

On Friday, September 12 we kicked the network off by having a party at Josh and Ginger's house. The party also coincided with the 4-Miler Race, which kicks off the Cooper-Young Festival. We had no idea who was coming. By the end of the evening we figured that we had sixty people show up. Of those sixty, I'm pretty sure that half the kids were three years of age and under.

Here are some pictures that Ginger took.

If you're here in Midtown and would like to join, email cooperyoungparents-subscribe@yahoogroups.com.

Infant Mortality in Memphis

I just finished watching 20/20's special on Memphis' high infant mortality rate. I can't sleep. God is examining my heart.

Here are some of the highlights of the program:

• Among the 23 wealthies countries, the U.S. ranks #1 in infant mortality
• Black babies die at three times the rate of white babies.
• Memphis ranks #1 in U.S. large cities
• A baby dies in Memphis every 43 hours
• As of today, unwed mothers have given birth to 5847 babies. The majority are born at The Med.
  
• Caring for a premature baby costs $55,000 on average. Obviously, prenatal care is key.
• Nationwide, 65% of children grow up without a father
• There are three zip codes in Memphis where babies die at the same rate as some third world countries (38108 is one of them).
  

I've lived in Memphis for almost three years now, and right now I'm in shock. I had heard that Memphis ranked high on this list, but nothing really sunk in...until now. What can be done about this? What is my role? I'm sitting right outside of Micah's room. He is sleeping peacefully. I praise God for a healthy baby boy, but it breaks my heart to know that many people in my city are not so fortunate.

The Kingdom of God is now...and it's not yet. All pain and suffering will end one day, but that day has not arrived. There is still evil, brokenness, pain and death. But the Kingdom of God is here now. It hasn't fully arrived, but it is here. Jesus came to preach good news to the poor, to proclaim freedom for the prisoners, to release the oppressed, to bind up the brokenhearted, and to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor (Luke 4/Isaiah 61). Jesus isn't physically with us today, but that does not mean that this gospel work is not happening. Today he empowers His bride to take on this task of reconciliation.

I pray that God's Kingdom would reign in Memphis and would reign over this problem.


Here is an article about the show, along with video clips. Here is a list of organizations who are trying to make a difference. A couple of other good articles are here, here and here.

Weekly Links

I read a lot of blogs each week, so I decided to highlight some of what I read on my blog. I'm hoping to make this a weekly habit...


Bob Roberts writes about Missional Families

Southern Baptist Pastors think differently than the rest of America (no, this isn't a joke; very eye-opening; make sure to click on the photo gallery)

Alan Hirsch reviews Made to Stick, by Chip and Dan Heath (I'm currently reading this book)

Helpful definition of Missional Community

Philip Yancey writes about brokenness. Check out the subtitle: "Why I Sometimes Wish I Was an Alcoholic."

David Fitch says that it takes 5-10 years "to nourish a missional community into a sustainable church."

Money Management Advice from Mom

My mom was the first person who taught me about managing money. She gave me three butter dishes, and taught me that whenever I received money, I should divide it between those three containers. The first was labeled "God." The second was labeled "Save". The third was labeled "Spend."

On the flip side, last night I met a man who reminded me that most Americans are one paycheck away from being homeless. Why is this? I think it's pretty simple: most people were never taught how to manage money. I am very thankful that my mom made it a priority to teach me while I was young.

Here's a good article from Bankrate on the role that Mom's have played in teaching sound money management principals. Here are a few of the topics:

• Don't get a tax refund
• Save and invest your money
• Live within your means
• Save some money for a rainy day