Men and Women 2

Over the past few months I’ve read a lot of articles on this subject. Here are some of the most helpful ones.

Women and Ministry, by Tim & Kathy Keller
Here’s what I like about this one. First, it’s Keller. I find it’s always a good idea to see what he says on a given issue. Second, though he’s a theologian and academic, he’s also a pastor, and this article is written from the perspective of a church wrestling through an issue. Third, I appreciate the fact that his wife, Kathy, writes with him. Finally, I think it’s quite balanced.

Summaries of the Egalitarian and Complementarian Positions on the Role of Women in the Home and in Christian Ministry, by Bruce Ware
Again, I appreciate this one because of its balance. He gives what each side believes, then gives objections from the other side to those beliefs. He deals with pretty much every Scripture passage there is on this issue. He packs a great deal into eleven pages.

Keeping Complementarians True to Scripture, by David Gushee
This is a very short but sweet article on the need for consistency in this issue.

Women and Ministry at IBC
This 24-page paper was written by the elders at Irving Bible Church after they spent over a year in study in conversation. Like Keller’s paper, it is written not for the sake of debate but because a church was wrestling through an important issue. I sensed a great deal of humility as I read it. In the end, they come to the same conclusion as Redeemer Pres did: all ministries are open to women except for the office of elder. The confusing part is that sometime after this they invited a female to be their lead pastor. I want to know more about that.

The Role of Women in Worship and Ministry: Some Hermeneutical Questions, by David Dockery
If you can get your hands on this one, it is well worth the read. As it says in the title, it deals with the many hermeneutical issues involved with this issue.

50 Crucial Questions about Manhood and Womanhood, by John Piper & Wayne Grudem
This article definitely takes the complentarian view, but it is extremely good. When I wrote a paper on this issue nine years ago, I read their book Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. Although it is very persuasive, even then the issue of consistency kept me from adopting this view completely.

For the egalitarian side, I would recommend reading Scot McKnight’s blog. Here is the link to his category “Women and Ministry.” Lots of great posts there.

Men and Women 1

Below are two of the articles I referenced on Sunday night at NC's worship gathering. All of these are from the last six months.

"The End of Men", from The Atlantic

Earlier this year, women became the majority of the workforce for the first time in U.S. history. Most managers are now women too. And for every two men who get a college degree this year, three women will do the same. For years, women’s progress has been cast as a struggle for equality. But what if equality isn’t the end point? What if modern, postindustrial society is simply better suited to women? A report on the unprecedented role reversal now under way— and its vast cultural consequences

"Why We Need to Reimagine Masculinity", from Newsweek

To survive in a hostile world, guys need to embrace girly jobs and dirty diapers. Why it's time to reimagine masculinity at work and at home

New Series on Men and Women

On Sunday night, December 5, our church is going to begin a two-week study on the role of men and women, both in the home and in the church. This is a very controversial issue, and one that continues to divide well meaning people to this day. So just as we have done in the past with other controversial issues, we want to base our understanding primarily on the Scriptures. There is nothing like a community being empowered to come to the Scriptures with both humility and confidence, and thereby determining how to live out what is read. It always excites me.

On our website I've compiled the primary passages that deal with this issue, plus a question for each passage for you to think about. You can download that document here. Over the next several weeks I'll be posting some of the more influential articles that have shaped me on this issue.

Fight Club Session 3

I love starting my Tuesday morning with Fight Club. This morning proved to be an injection of energy that I desperately needed. JB gave 25 practical ways to be a servant leader. Before I get to a few of those, though, I will recap the theme of the series: A man is not passive. A man takes initiative in all things, especially his family.

I could offer thoughts to all 25 ideas he gave, but I'm going to pick three for now.

A servant-leader takes the time to give his children practical instructions about life, which in turn gives them confidence with their peers.

One of the wounds that many men have is that they were not equipped for life by their fathers. I wouldn't necessarily say that I have wounds when it comes to this, but there have definitely been some areas where I've been ill-equipped in dealing with the world. There were some pretty significant life skills that I had to learn on my own. So my desire is to begin brainstorming now what life skills I want to teach my boys. Then comes reverse engineering: How do I teach them these skills? When do I teach them these skills? Finally there comes the reality that I will fail them in some ways, but I rest in the grace of God to fill in the gaps.

A servant-leader joins a small group of men who are dedicated to improving their skills as a man, husband and father.

This statement will quite possibly be my biggest take-away from these five weeks of Fight Club. This is what I've been wanting for the guys that I know, and for myself. I have friends who don't necessarily believe the same things as I believe about God, but all of them want to be better husbands, better dads. What would it look like to have some friends who agree to pursue this together, with great intentionality and encouragement.

A servant-leader takes the lead in establishing with his wife sound, biblically-supportable family values.

Here's a huge "AHA" moment: I've taken a lot of time thinking about and writing out values for Neighborhood Church. I've done the same things with businesses I've started. Yet Mandy and I have never written out our values for marriage or for raising children. Of course we've had conversations about this, and of course we have unspoken values, but there's been nothing strategic about it. I'm thinking a lot about this word "strategy." Most men I know do a lot of strategizing during the 8-5 hours. Why don't we do this with our family, during the most crucial hours of our day? Why don't I put the same strategy into being a husband and father as I do in being a pastor/entrepreneur?

Fight Club Session 2

This morning's session was on the role of men as husbands. JB did an awesome job once again. He began by showing a video about initiative. This once again goes back to the root sin of passivity that was talked about last week. A man must take initiative in all parts of his life, and this is none too true when it comes to marriage.

First great point of the morning: In relating to and understanding your wife, operating on the principles of what comes naturally to you is a big mistake. Women are very different from men, and treating her like you would treat another man is not going to work. Might seem like a no-brainer, but it's a no-brainer that I need to be reminded of.

The biggest take home for me was going through the core needs of a husband and a wife. The number one need for both is the same. It's Companionship. But after that, everything is different. For husbands, the next three are:

• Admiration
• Support
• Physical Responsiveness
  
  

For wives, they are:

• Security
• Significance
• Emotional Responsiveness

JB then closed by giving a "Must Do", "Can Do" and "Courageous Do" for each of the four core needs for wives. I'll save that for a later post, but it was an excellent reminder. Biggest thing I appreciated about this morning was the emphasis on initiative. This doesn't come naturally, and it's something that we have to work on.

So with that, I wrote three questions that I left with, and that I'll leave you with:

1. Now what? What am I going to do with what I've learned/been reminded of?
2. How am I going to make this a part of my vocabulary and then my lifestyle?
3. Where am I doing well? What do I need to work on?

Fight Club - Session 1

JB started with this quote: "When men become men, everything else gets better. The tragedy, and reality, is that the opposite is also true."

Amen to that. I'm really glad that John Carroll told me about Fight Club a couple of months ago. Going into 2010, I really wanted to provide an outlet for the guys I know to hear what the Bible says about men. As soon as I read the manifesto from Fight Club, I knew that this what I was looking for.

So this morning at 6:30 the new 5-week session of Fight Club kicked off. Here are my notes from this morning's talk.

Genesis 1-2 reveals the five noble pathways: Manhood, Womanhood, Marriage, Parenthood & Calling/Vocation. Genesis 1 is all about God creating. Genesis 2 is all about him giving his creation mandate to Adam. Now it's Adam's turn. Sin enters the picture in Genesis 3, and the good relationship and the good work is broken. JB said that Genesis 3:6 is the most damning verse for men in the Bible. Here's the paraphrase: The serpent came to Eve and deceived her. So she ate of the fruit, then gave it to Adam, "who was with her", and he ate. It was Adam's biggest opportunity to be a man, yet he failed to step up. He was passive.

The results of the fall are two-fold. On the one hand, we have people like Eve, who decide that they know better than God what they need. They rebel and want their own way. This is like the younger brother in Luke 15. He said that men who fall into this category never become true men. In our culture today we have the phenomena of extended adolescence. These are the "dudes" who go away to college and then move back in with their parents. They don't get a job. They don't have any responsibilities. Their lives are marked by laziness, video games, and consumption.

On the other hand, we have people like Adam, who decide that they will look the part in order to please God. This is religion, and it mirrors the older brother in Luke 15. These are the cowards. They can talk a big game, but they are scared to make their lives count for something. They have problem making decisions for themselves, much less for anyone else. And many of them turn into critics (many through the blogosphere).

That's the bad news. Here's the good news: the original plan of God has not waned. The call to create and cultivate still goes out. And the even better news is that God has a plan for our brokenness. It's the Gospel, and we first see indicators of it in Genesis 3. The fig leaves that they had made to cover their nakedness did not do what they hoped it would do. Their sin was still apparent to God. They still felt shame. So God took the skin from an animal and clothed them with it. He then sent them back into their work, only the work would now be difficult because of the brokenness now present in the world.

So much of this brokenness has marked me through the years, yet I know that God is working on me. How I am grateful for the Gospel!

Fight Club

Last week I finished up reading Fight Clubs, by Jonathan Dodson. You can download it for free here. It's a quick read, but very helpful on the topics of discipleship, fighting sin, accountability, religion, and the gospel.

I also just came across audio from a men's conference on this same subject.